The Ballad of the Greys Lyrics 
------------------------------

Please Lord if I'm abducted, don't let it be the Greys,
the short little guys with the big black eyes from a galaxy far away;
I've heard the horror stories, being taken in the dead of night,
laid out on a table like a Christmas turkey,
I'm afraid I'd die from fright.

They can paralyse you with their eyes and levitate you out of bed,
pull you right up through the ceiling and start messing with your head;
Now if they would just stop at that I wouldn't mind too much,
but I've heard they'll probe you up and down and you won't like 
where they touch.

The witnesses say they're a humourous bunch and by that I'm quite
surprised, do they watch all the reruns of I Love Lucy and 
The Best of Saturday Night Live?
I don't wanna be a live experiment; father children in a place unknown,
but they'll splice your genes and make grotesque things;
leave my tadpole guys alone. 

Please Lord if I'm abducted, don't let it be the greys,
the short little guys with the big black eyes from a galaxy far away;
I've heard the horror stories, being taken in the dead of night,
laid out on a table like a Christmas turkey,
I'm afraid I'd die from fright.

When Eisenhower signed the treaty, he never thought they'd stay,
maybe hang around long enough to mutilate some cattle and they'd
be on their way;
We built them underground bases and they're feelin' right at home,
like that Dreamland in Nevada where the antelope and aliens roam.
And Art Bell knows what's going on, they probably give him rides for free;
for all we know he's one of them, that's why he's on radio... 
and not ... TV.... (think about it).

Please Lord if I'm abducted, don't let it be the greys,
the short little guys with the big black eyes from a galaxy far away;
I've heard the horror stories, being taken in the dead of night,
laid out on a table like a Christmas turkey,
I'm afraid I'd die from fright.
Laid out on a table like a Christmas turkey, don't let me die tonight!

...(nanoo-nanoo my foot!)